How To Solve A Problem Like Bullying

"Bullying" is a frequent topic at parent gatherings. Parents define bullying differently, have varying experiences (as students and with their children), imagine causes and formulate a range of solutions. During a discussion at an indoor-play center, a mom said that she would not allow her children to bully others. She added, however, that the parents of bullied children really need to look at their children's behavior and see what makes them targets. This (very real) antidote illustrates the public's perception of bullying: it is wrong, but something also must be wrong with these kids whose peers dislike them!

Bullying is shaped by several factors: culture, schools, parents and students. American culture is divided two ways. Some still support the adages "kids will be kids" and "let them work it out." A small segment believes that the tormented will grow from the experience, or even thank their bullies later. However, others are changing perceptions about bullying, especially with media attention toward gun violence and suicides that have origins in bullying. Bullying causes mental problems (anxiety, stress), which can lead to physical ones (headaches, stomach pain).

Of course, culture shapes the other factors that are still uncertain how to address bullying. Schools generally acknowledge that students cannot learn if they sit nervously at a desk, worried who will throw something at them next. Educators have long questioned what to do about the situation. Teachers struggle to separate bullies and victims, which makes it difficult to dole out punishments and educate both parties about proper behavior.

Parents are unsure of their approaches, as they do not want more attention on their child who (in psychological turmoil) often protects his bully. Sometimes, students rejoice they are not bullied; other times they quietly suffer. Rarely do they act as leaders and defend the bullied. The problem and factors are evident, and most are ready to believe bullying is a serious offense. What should we do?

Many are calling for laws that require schools to have anti-bullying plans or curriculum in place. One such proposal is HR 2622: Safe Schools Improvement Act of 2009 which is to amend the Safe and Drug-Free Schools and Communities Act to include bullying and harassment prevention programs. Individual states have such laws and while these laws sound great (and who would vote against them) do they accomplish much? Research is not clear concerning the results of teaching students anti-bullying messages. Stronger factors outside of school reach students deeper than anti-bullying pep talks. Nonetheless, the laws do set a tone and a precedent. They define and influence our culture. Also, they might work. HR 2622 is currently stalled and I hope that pressure and support will get it moved through the system. Our students deserve to be safe in all aspects of their schooling.

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