Social Networking: Better if Done Intentionally

Social networking is best done on purpose.  If there's one thing (and there might only be one thing) I appreciate about Facebook, it's those, even if slowly fading, privacy settings that allow one to choose their friends.  It may have the "invite all contacts" feature (Twitter might as well), but it doesn't, at least not last time I checked, automatically import all your "contacts" - and by contacts, I mean, everyone you've ever emailed - and suggest (strongly) that you invite them to join this particular social network.

It may be an innovative feature, this "invite all contacts" thing, but sites like LinkedIn need to be a lot clear about how to use it.  For example, showing eight contacts on the screen and asking, "send invitations to all" should mean all the visible contacts on the current screen, not all people ever contacted.  If you're inviting someone to join a professional social networking site, you should be, well, professional about it; inviting everyone you've ever emailed (including no-reply addresses, former employers, and - even worse - potential employers...and I've sent a lot of resumes out online recently) is decidedly not professional.

One potential perk of the accidental mass invitation to my LinkedIn profile was that it might result in a rapid growing of my social network, but the mass invitation, so far, has led to mass anxiety, and many awkward conversations.  People, evidently, are not assuming it was just a mistake, but are writing back "respectfully declining" my invitation, or asking me what LinkedIn is, or - and this is my favorite - if we've ever actually met ("forgive me if I don't remember you").  Despite the several suggestions that I should get a LinkedIn account due to my status as a recent college grad (and an unemployed one at that), if I could do it all over again, I wouldn't even create a LinkedIn account.  At the very least, I would prefer a tiny social network than the intense social anxiety and the same conversation over and over again.

On one level, it's good to know that people take me seriously.  And, this all-inclusive mistake has put me in contact with people with whom I've ever lost touch or would not have, if given the chance, intentionally invited (which, in most cases, is a great thing).  But, I have lost count of how many conversations I have had with people who do not know what LinkedIn is, who do not want their name "out there on the Internet" anymore than is necessary (so, obviously not big social networkers or social media users at all), or who want to know why I invited them.

Maybe my social anxiety is speaking here, but, to me, this social networking mistake has so far not been worth it.  Now, if this social networking ends up getting me a job, maybe I'll change my tune.  But, really, I'd like to do my social networking on purpose from now on, and would appreciate the sites especially built for social networking to make that easier rather than harder.  After all, getting a job through social networking is still about who you know, not how many people you know.

Photo Credit: Devon Fennell